The Tulsi Vivah puja is a small wedding held at home, in which the tulsi plant is dressed as a bride and married to Vishnu, as a Shaligram or an image of Krishna, under a canopy of sugarcane. In outline: clean and decorate the tulsi planter, raise the sugarcane mandap, dress Tulsi as a bride, seat the groom beside her, perform the puja and the kanyadaan, take the pheras around the plant, then sing, do the aarti and share prasad.
The day for your city, and why families choose anything from Dev Uthani Ekadashi to Kartik Purnima, are on the Tulsi Vivah date page. This page does not give times; they shift with the year and the place.
Samagri: what to keep ready
- The tulsi plant in its pot or the courtyard tulsi chaura, cleaned and freshly painted or washed
- Four or more sugarcane stalks for the mandap, with thread or a strip of cloth to tie them
- A red chunri or small red cloth for the bride, and a small yellow cloth or dhoti for the groom
- Shringar for Tulsi: small bangles, bindi, sindoor, mehendi, a tiny mangalsutra or a black-bead thread, a comb and a mirror in some homes
- The groom: a Shaligram, or a small image or picture of Krishna or Vishnu, on a small plate or chowki
- Roli, haldi, akshat, flowers and a flower garland for each, mauli thread
- Ghee lamps and incense; a few small diyas around the mandap
- Seasonal produce: amla, sugarcane pieces, singhara, sweet potato, ber, guava
- Sweets for the wedding: batashe, laddoos or any homemade sweet
- A plate of rice for showering the couple, and a cloth to hold between bride and groom if your family follows the antarpat custom
- A kalash of water with mango leaves, if your family places one
Everything here can be what the house already has. A cotton dupatta in red is as good a chunri as any, and a picture of Krishna is a complete groom.
Step by step
- Morning preparation. Water the tulsi, clean around the planter, and paint or wash the chaura. Draw a rangoli or alpona in front of it. Those who keep a fast take fruit and milk through the day, and the pregnant, unwell and older do not fast at all unless a doctor agrees.
- Raise the mandap. Towards evening, stand the sugarcane stalks around the tulsi and tie their tops together over the plant. Hang a small garland or mango leaves from the mandap if you like.
- Dress the bride. Wrap the red chunri around the plant or the pot. Put the bangles on the pot or a branch, apply a little sindoor and bindi, and place the mangalsutra. Women of the house usually do this together, with songs.
- Seat the groom. Bathe the Shaligram gently with water (or with panchamrit, if that is your custom), dry it, and place it on a small plate to the right of the tulsi, dressed in the yellow cloth. If you use a picture of Krishna, place it the same way.
- Lamps and Ganesh. Light the lamps at dusk. Offer roli, akshat and a flower to Ganesh first.
- Puja of the couple. Offer haldi, roli, akshat, flowers and a garland to both Tulsi and the groom, then the seasonal produce and sweets.
- Hear the katha. Sit together and hear the Tulsi Vivah katha, the story of Vrinda and the Shaligram.
- Kanyadaan. The couple sitting as the bride's parents take water, a flower and akshat in their hands, place them at the groom's feet, and give Tulsi's hand in marriage in their own words. The family then ties the groom's yellow cloth to the bride's chunri with mauli, the knot of marriage.
- The pheras. The person sitting for the groom, or the one who holds the Shaligram, carries it around the tulsi plant seven times, while the family sings wedding songs. In some homes the whole family walks the pheras together.
- Showering rice. In Maharashtrian homes a cloth is held between bride and groom while mangalashtakas are sung, then lowered, and everyone showers akshat on the couple. Elsewhere rice and flowers are showered after the pheras.
- Aarti and prasad. Sing the aarti your family knows, offer the lamp to both, and share the sweets and produce as wedding prasad.
Checking the time
Tulsi Vivah is an evening ceremony, usually begun after sunset, in the pradosh hours. Families who like a good muhurta for the pheras can look at the evening choghadiya for your city, and many avoid starting in Rahu kaal. The date page explains the choice between Ekadashi, Dwadashi and the following days. Because Tulsi Vivah is taken as the opening of the wedding season, the muhurat page is where families look next for marriage dates.
Customs families keep
These are customs, not conditions; your family's own way comes first.
- Many homes keep the tulsi's wedding chunri on the plant for some days afterwards.
- Couples who have no daughter often perform the kanyadaan, which they hold as a great blessing.
- The bangles and shringar items from the wedding are often given to a married woman of the house or a neighbour.
- In many households a lamp is lit at the tulsi every evening through Kartika, ending on Kartik Purnima.
- Some families plan the first wedding of the season only after the tulsi's wedding is done.
- Tulsi leaves are not plucked on the wedding day in many homes.
Regional ways
- Maharashtra and Goa: performed on any evening from Dwadashi to Kartik Purnima, with the antarpat, mangalashtakas and a shower of akshat; the tulsi vrindavan is painted fresh.
- Gujarat and Saurashtra: grand temple weddings, sometimes with a procession of the groom, and Krishna as the bridegroom.
- Uttar Pradesh, Bihar and Madhya Pradesh: often joined to the Dev Uthani Ekadashi evening, under the same sugarcane mandap used to wake the Lord.
- Rajasthan: women sing wedding songs in the courtyard, and in some families the occasion is kept like a daughter's wedding.
- Karnataka and Andhra Pradesh: Ksheerabdhi Dwadashi, when a branch of amla is placed beside the tulsi and Vishnu is worshipped with her.
After the puja
Share the prasad with neighbours and keep the sugarcane to eat over the coming days. Tulsi Vivah follows the waking of the Lord on Dev Uthani Ekadashi, and many families also hold a Satyanarayan katha as the season of weddings and housewarmings begins.